做不成恋人情人,依然是朋友.可能吗? Can't Be/No Longer Partners/Lovers, Yet Still Friends? Viable?

一些网民对以上的观点和看法: (The following are (translated) comments of a few netizens on the above issue:)

*可以。因为在一起时间长了有一种感情和习惯，如果见不到了我会觉得怪怪的。不过如果是他伤害了我。那我会给自己一段时间不联系他。等我没什么感觉的时候面对他还可以礼貌的打招呼。可是如果是因为彼此不合适，好聚好散了，那做朋友有什么不可以呢？毕竟他也是最了解你的人啊！就像亲人一样了，只要对方也是大度的，彼此有事一起商量，时不时问个好，没什么大不了的! (It is possible. Because after being together for sometime, you would have gotten accustomed to and developed feelings for each other. It would feel abnormal if you stop seeing each other. Unless of course he/she has hurt me. Then I would give it a break before I resume any contact with him/her. I will wait till the hurt is all gone and I can be courteous if I happen to see him/her. If we can't be lovers because of incompatibility, then we should part amicably, just like the way we met. Can't see why we can't be friends anymore. After all, he/she may the one who understands me the most! Like a relative with a magnanimous and understanding heart, once in a while, you can still show some care and concern. This is no big deal at all!)

*我觉得可以做朋友 ,除非你对她还有非分之想发.这就有问题了.先是想有百年之好,不成,退而求其次,不成,再退.再不成.哎!!!做人太失败了!!!! (I think it is possible to be friends, unless you still harbour the original hope and intention. Initially, you hoped to spend the rest of your life with him/her. When you found that it is not possible, you reduced your expectation, to a non-committal one - to just "as-long-as-you-can-be-together" relationship, ie. an open ended relationship. If not possible again, then you will accept even just the occasional rendezvous. How pathetic!)

*曾经有做情人的念头的人,回头再说做朋友,会令人难以置信,因为行为在先,已经看出水平了。(If you and him/her had previously been lovers, it is hard to believe that you two can just be normal friends with each other.)

*很俗的一句话 做不成情人做朋友！！呵呵，也不知道是谁最先说这句话，成了感情天空里最经典的一句分手托词！但凡有人要先负于人，我想这句话是最好的一句表白！！ 但是曾经有一段感情就真的升华到了这种境界。但是我们谁也不想，只是无奈于此！唉。相爱的两个人，因为不得已的原因，不得已分了手，可是我们不能忘记不能不牵挂对方！偶尔一个电话，平平淡淡一句“你好吗，过得怎么样，身体好吗，工作顺心吗？”能让人不知不觉泪流满面。 是的，曾经那么相爱，可是我们知道，爱不用一定要厮守在一起，不管我们身在何方，在彼此的心里都知道，在某个地方有个人会在为他（她）祝福，为他（她）牵挂！ 不要不相信，有的时候情人做不成，真的可以做朋友，而且是永远的朋友，！不管是因为什么原因而分手，不要去怨恨，不要去仇视，平心对待人生里的每一次风波和磨烂！分手了，用一颗平常的心去对待你曾经的恋人吧！(Sounds more like a typical excuse for someone who intends to initiate a breakup with his/her lover/partner. Nevertheless, it is probably the best excuse to have. Sigh~~ once were lovers, but now no longer. It is a sad thing but can't be helped. However, we can't just forget the other person totally - just like that. The occasional "how are you?", "how's work?", blessing him/her, is acceptable. Don't rule out that sometimes when you can't be lovers, you can still be good friends. In fact, even become lifelong friends! It doesn't matter what the reasons are for the breaking up. Just don't harbour any hatred. Just let it be. Even though you are no longer lovers, you should still treat him/her with courtesy. After all, he/she was once your lover!)

*你对朋友的定义是什么呢？如果只是一个偶尔想起来问候一下的人~那么没问题~如果是一个依旧在你生活中扮演重要角色的人~ 那么还是不要了~首先不考虑旧情复燃什么的糟心事情~单纯的你曾经喜欢的人还经常出现在你身边~ 而且还和你分享着他现在的感情等事情~ 你会有什么样的心情？？毕竟喜欢过怎么可能就那么完全的一点感觉都没有了~做不到是事情就不要勉强~再说了~ 当你将来有新的归宿的时候你怎么介绍现在这个朋友~当你的爱人知道你们曾经是那么要好现在还保持联系的时候~就算他再大度心里也会有阴影~ 人在爱情方面都是自私的这很正常~即使嘴上不说什么心里也会很难过~这可不是什么好事情哦~~~~~有时候人还是活的洒脱一点好~ 呵呵 (What is your definition of "a friend"? If it is just the occasional hello, then it's okay. But if he/she is still very important to you in your heart, then better not. If someone who was once central to your life is still close by, still sharing his/her life's events, good times & bad times with you; how are you going to handle this relationship? How are you going to introduce him/her to the new love in your life? Even though we may not openly admit it, when it comes to matters of the heart, we are all selfish. It's normal to be so. Ex lovers remaining friends will cause complications. Just let it go.)

*做不成情人，可以做朋友，不但有可能，而且完全应该。现在，谈恋爱的初始阶段，不少人称之为“交朋友”，两人感情发展成熟，即可以确定婚姻关系。若不成为恋人关系，不还是”朋友“关系吗！婚姻恋爱受很多条件制约，但关键是两人情投意合心心相印。若一方不满意，就要中止向恋人的方向发展，任何人也奈何不得。既然一方不同意，另一方就要大度的友好的主动的中断关系的进一步发展。仍保持朋友关系，不是最好的结局吗。当然也有人一旦恋爱不成，就把对方视为仇人，这种做法是相当错误的，这种人说小了是小鸡肚肠，实际应该说是他没有正确的恋爱观。俗话说“买卖不成情意在”，更何况婚姻恋爱呢。(Can't really see why not. In fact, should and must remain as friends. The relationship started out as friendship anyway. In the process, deeper feelings developed; some even end up getting married to each other. If this does not eventuate, aren't they still friends? If due to various reasons, they can't be lovers, they should still be big-hearted enough to accept this fact. It is not necessary to become enemies instead. For those who can't accept it, it just shows how emotionally immature and small-hearted such people are. As a Chinese proverb goes, "Friendship remains even if the (business) deal can't be sealed." )

*绝对不可以做朋友!!!!!!!做朋友就意味你们还会常见面,有事没事常联系.这样你就不会有新的开始,给你造成更大的痛苦.即使你有了新的朋友,他也会有意无意的成为你们关系进一步发展的障碍,进而给你造成更大的痛苦. (Definitely not!!!!!!! If you remain friends, that means you will still see other every so often. This will make it hard for you to start anew in your love life. It will only come in between your new relationship and prolong your heartache.)

*有可能，前提是两个人都能够互相尊重 (It's possible. But firstly, it depends how much respect you have for each other.)

你觉得呢? (What is your opinion on this?)